Nuisances

My dvd player (on the laptop) has been broken now for a fortnight. Stupid thing, it's a wonder it lasted that long. I'm trying to go through these dvds I got, but it's just not happening. Maybe it because I don't want too and broken equipment and other duties are an excuse. I don't know, I just don't like the idea of coming across a video of something that could mean she's dead.

I got a letter the day before yesterday, it came in the post, not left on my doorstep like the previous ones I've mentioned. I had hoped it was from Conroy, but she's looking to be a dead end.

It reads:

"I don't think you know bleakness, like I do nor will you ever understand what it is like to be stuck in a hole of complete darkness. Knowing there's no way out, no physical walls to break through, just living in a land where all you can see is a never-ending abyss of loneliness. I escaped such a fate but I often wonder if it was worth it. I left that place and I found no comfort in reality. I question if this is reality. Why would I escape, how did I? I can't tell you, because you don't know anything about this and as damned as I am now, I won't pass along anything that could help another soul take a path to that place. Some things are out there, desperate to grasp onto life, those that are vibrant and good are like ever-glowing bulbs of joy and attract good and bad presences in this world and any other.

Your friend was probably one, a bulb of joy, but I can guarantee you, if she ever comes back, she will never be that shining star again. Forget everything, cleanse yourself."

I don't know what to say, someone out there knows what happened to her. Have they been reading my blog, is it someone I might know. What is this place they were taken too and how is any of what they said possible.
The only truth I know for sure is that she was a happy joyful person. I want her back, just like she was.